Just thinking

Interrogative - Oil on canvas by Laura Tedeschi

No, it's not easy for anyone to tell something, there are those who studied for years and those who allow themselves to go on intuition, but the effort of telling, whether played on the keys of a piano, or wrote on a white paper, or break down on a block of clay or leaves the tubes of color, are needed determination and intuition. It takes strength, the strength of a knight who throws himself wildly galloping against the current. How tired I have got, how convoluted body and soul behind the empty white canvas, but in most cases to bring out only the shadow of an inspiration, but holy god I did not think so !!!!! Good will, together with mediocre results, is still worse, a glimpse of the potential is one orribile thing. It's as, if the teacher at school had said your mother: 'the boy engage himself, but he can not apply'.  All attempts at pretending to myself that I made something beautiful... it's always like this, the thrill is short .. already after a short time, my attempt appears to me very poor (so that I can see in this all my fear, I can see me as a teenager in the little town where I grew up, I can see me walking on the streets without ease, with my satchel in my hand, dreaming of being courageous and hoping to not meet anyone because my shyness prevented me from socializing like everyone else, I see myself as child running away from the villagers who might ask me questions). Well, why I'm always trying to express my self in this way? Well, maybe is the old habit of wasting time with people who, perhaps love us and tell them all, but you can not deny that this is very pathetic, with the hope that one day even the positions of this forms could be proud to show their uneasiness.